love

toddler acts up when i am in work

Question:

hi there,
i work a 3 day week and when i am off with babs we have a great time but when i am back in work wed, thurs, fri, i find him very unsettled when i come home, very cross and clingy. mil minds him wed and my mam and dad mind him thurs and fri. it really breaks my heart to see him acting like this as he is in such good humour when i am with him. does anybody else get this. like there is no way i could not work as morgage, you know the usual.
Answers:
Hi
You sound so torn.
Its normal for him to behave that way, he is reconnecting.
I went back to work with my 3rd child and he was stuck to me from the time I came home, also very anxious that I would be leaving him again.
I found that holding him (how old is he?) whilst I still had to do other things too (used a sling) and he actually slept with us which kind of helped him to reconnect too.
Hope this helps a bit.
Kateb
Answers:
I know exactly what you mean!
I work 4 days a week and don't get home till 7ish. DS is in creche from 9.30 - 5ish, when DH collects him. MIL lives with us, so she then spends time with DS, gives him his tea, plays with him etc. When I walk in the door, of course I'm expecting a smile and a 'hiya mama' but no.......
If I'm acknowledged at all, it's usually a very aggresive shout of 'no, go way mama' or 'don't want you mama', it can be very hard not to cry, especially with MIL sitting there getting all the attention
On the days that we are together, Fri/Sat/Sun, we are of course the best of friends and he is sooo cute and adorable and yummy

So no, you are NOT the only one!!!
Answers:
I wanted to say that his reason for doing that is due to his attachment relationship with you. A child who ignores you would be considered more of a worry than one who reacts aggresively.
His stress hormone levels are elevated and this causes the reaction as when he sees you, his levels start to drop and this is why he behaves that way.
I actually have a study on it so if you want to PM me I can email you the PDF file.
Kateb
Answers:
please do that kateb, he is 19 months, yesterday he was very clingy kept running to me and saying mammy mammy he would not look at his father who was trying to be really nice to him only wanted mammy.

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