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JI finding it hard to settle into school

Question:

My DS has a speech delay and had just completed his first week in school. We had been to see the principal and informed him about our DS who is quiet and needs lots of encouragement. He assured us it was no problem and he would get all the help he needed to settle. His teacher called us in the first day and had a list of very minor things he had got wrong, like missing an instruction to do something, to not joining in loud enough on a song. I tried to explain to her that he needsa time to settle but she's having none of it. I am going to meet her and the principal next week to discuss things but any advice? I'm really worried?
We live in Clane.
Answers:
My son started this week too and his teacher told us that she doesn't expect children to fully settle and understand all the rules of the classroom until Christmas.
Seems like a lot to expect from your DS already, have a word with her.
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FFS has she little to worry her!
Those things are very normal and you are right,it will take him some time to settle in.Try not to worry and be assertive when you meet the teacher and principal.He has just started school,its a whole new world and they should know that it will take time for him to find his feet.
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I think she is a bit over the top too..do you think that as you expressed concerns then she is over anxious and examining every move he makes (or doesn't make). She may just be over enthusiastic.
I think my dd1 took about 3 months to speak in Junior infants! It is a huge experience for them.
Perhaps you could come to an agreement that if she has any concerns she could note them down and then you could meet again say at the midterm to discuss how he is coming on? The thing is that you have to work with this teacher so approach this meeting confidently but also listen to her iykwim.
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The teacher is way OTT. That's a ridiculous list of things for week one of JI.
Definitely speak to the principal on this issue. She's out of line. Best of luck.
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How old is your son? Has he been in any sort of creche/montessori before?
Depending on your answer to that I'd be mildly concerned about not being able to follow an instruction, but i wouldn't care two hoots about him not shouting loud enough or whatever it is she said he didn't do......
They really are only little thingeens..... And on a first day? Teacher picking up on something - a bit premature I'd say? If it continues, yes, maybe seek intervention, but I'd be very reluctant to seek any further intervention based on one day with a new teacher.
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Loveshoes
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I'd question how experienced the teacher is, and has she had JI class before. Sounds like she's expecting them all to be settled on day one!
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Thanks for all your replies, yes she's experienced but has a reputation for being very fussy. Hugh expectations from the kids. Poor DS is half terrorised and still heads off every morning with a smile for her.
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Hi, one ds cried every day for 3 weeks when he started JI and got nothing but help and encouragment from the teacher, as did I. She sounds a bit too ott for a JI teacher.
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Thanks for all the advice everyone. Well we met the teacher and principal and they said he's really quiet and won't join into group work. He appears "different" to them. We explained about his speech delay again!!!! and said how he's very shy and lacking confidence and felt the shouting at him was making him even quieter. They agreed to try encouragement, etc and I'll speak to her again on Friday.
I am worried sick but spoke to the therapist who has worked with him and he told me to stick to my guns and tell them to give him a chance. It's awful now every morning he gets ready and says now I have to go to school. We never had this in montessori, he couldn't wait to get there. Really don't know where to go now.
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Well Montessori is very difficult to primary school, in lots of ways. Keep communicating with the teacher. Could the therapist write to them as well outlining the issues he has?
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Gosh, I think it's very very early days for the school to be worried about him being quiet and not joining in group work. We can't all have the all-singing, all-dancing Billy Barry type children. This is only the middle of his second week (and possibly he only started last Wednesday so it's just one week over). My dd is very confident in situations where she feels comfortable, but does take a while to get used to new environments/people. When she started JI she did find it hard to find her feet in the yard and while she did answer out in class, she would definitely have been one of the quiet, shy ones. It took time for her to gain confidence, but she did and a year on she's loving it. Her teacher really helped by having a lovely manner and by praising and encouraging as opposed to getting annoyed. I know she doesn't have the speech issue your ds has and I don't know how much that effects him, but I think speech issue or not, starting JI can be very daunting and it's totally unsurprising that your ds is taking a little while to settle in.
Definitely keep the lines of communication open with the teacher and make sure they know how well he settled into Montessori and how he mixed well and got involved with all the activities. I think in these situations the teachers need to be told about how a child operates in other situations to give them a more rounded view of what the child is like.
I hope it all sorts itself out.
F x
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It's very odd that the teacher would make remarks like that after one day. It doesn't sound helpful at all. Did you get the impression that you were being told that he wasn't ready for school yet? Is he 4 or 5? I'm just wondering if they are trying to push you into starting him next year instead? If his speech therapist has assessed him and thinks he's ready, then they've no reason to complain.
Or maybe the teacher actually thinks she's being really helpful keeping you (overly) informed of how it's going every day.
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I think there are a few things here.
Firstly his speech delay - I would guess this has nothing to do with him being quiet, and just needs to be worked on, no issue here.
Secondly he's quiet, lacking confidence. He's a naturally quiet child, doesn't go head first into anything, absolutely nothing wrong with this. I have 2 quiet JI atm, they are what I think are "highly sensitive children", I've posted a topic on quiet children which might help, lots of the MMs who posted really helped me. Neither of my girls join in singing in class, it's just not their way. They might eventually, but not now.
viewtopic.php?f=36&t=275302
Thirdly the teacher is jumping streets ahead. Have a chat with her. Find out if your child is happy in school, if your child is learning (missing an odd instruction is nothing to worry about, I still do this!). There is nothing wrong at all. If you think you have a "highly sensitive child" then tell the teacher this and that you have no worries about it. If all children were super confident participaters the world would be very boring.
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i'm sure you are doing everything possible for him, try to remember that the school isn't your enemy here and they also want what is best for him. I would definately want to know (on day one, week one) if my child wasn't participating or able to follow what was going on, just so that the school could assist me in getting the help he needs. They want to rule out the obvious, like a hearing difficulty for your son, that would prevent him being able to participate fully in class. Try and stay positive and upbeat, no matter what his issues are (or hers, for that matter) he will settle eventually. Stay in close touch with the teacher and keep it positive, and thank her for taking the extra time with him, she might respond better to praise (like a naughty child lol) also it is much better if you have everyone on side and working with you for your sons benefit, f
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Thanks for all the replies and advice. Have spoken to the teacher a few times now and he's settling better but she's so fussy. TBH I think she wants an sna in her classroom although he doesn't need one and she keeps saying he's well able for the work. It's an all boys school and I found out they have to do Irish Dancing. The first day was okbut the next week DS was crying and told me he tripped and fell into another boy who cried, the dancing teacher shouted at him and called him stupid. As a teacher myself I was furious that an dancing teacher could terrorise a JI. I wrote a letter to the teacher and the principal phoned denying all despite the teacher telling me he had been upset and crying cos she had been shouting at him. He didn't want to go to school today because of it. We're going to discuss this with the teacher and principal 2moro. Any Tips?
Thanks

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