And every night before that for like 11 months.
My DD is 11 months old. Last night she was in bed by around 9.30. At 10.30 she was awaken by her brother screaming the house down. Took me ages to settle her. At 1am she woke up again. I gave her a 240ml bottle with a couple of spoonfuls of baby rice, which she didn't finish but had two thirds of it. Up again at 4.30, tried to settle her, gave her some calpol, nothing worked, in the end I gave her the bottle she hadn't finished before and eventually she went down at 5. Up again at 8 for another (boob) feed and after that she slept after 11. Last night it was a good night. Normally she wakes even more often than that. If I don't feed her she just won't go down at all. I have tried everything, including letting her cry. She's not hot, she's not cold, she has her naps during the day, I try for her not to be too tired but she doesn't sleep too much during the day either. A 2-hour nap in the middle of the day at the same time every day and sometimes a half-hour nap in the morning.
Her brother, he's just 3. He has now dropped his naps completely cos he says he doesn't want to nap any more. He is in that "in-between" stages. If he doesn't sleep he is rather tired towards the end of the evening but if he does then he will absolutely refuse to go to bed at night-time. Last night he fell asleep in the car for about 20 minutes at around 7pm. Then he though the biggest tantrum because he didn't want to go to bed. Going to bed every night is just a battle. But last night the battle lasted nearly two hours and in the end my DH gave in and went in with him into his bed (which I didn't think he should have done). Then in the middle of the night my DS woke up and when he saw he was alone he wanted to come to our bed. Of course at that stage we weren't going to battle with him so he came to our bed. I have no problem in principle with him coming to out bed, my DD spend a lot of the night in our bed and I'm sure my DS thinks "why can she and I can't". But it is fairly cramped in there with the 4 of us in one bed. My DD normally end up in my bed at some stage or another throughout the night when I can't manage to settle her. Sometimes she cries and she stops when she's in the bed with us.
Sorry, I know there was a lot of info there. But I am at the end of my tether. I am continually exhausted and have really really forgotten what it is to have a good, restful night's sleep, it hasn't happened in over a year. We have no family life, no life as a couple and I am literally waiting til life begins again. I can't take it any more.
Any ideas anyone? How do i make my DD drop at least one of her feeds? I give her so much food during the day, hoping she won't be hungry at night, is it just that she has gotten used to those feeds, how can I reverse the process? And what do you guys do to get your toddlers into bed at night? And to stop them waking up at night and coming to your beds? Any ideas anyone are very welcome. Thanks in advance.
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You poor thing, that sound like a very hard situation.
I have an 11 month old, who is a great sleeper, to key to our success was routine. I found the 'no cry sleep solution' fantastic. As a comparison, my dd sleeps for an hour from about 12.15 every day. She has a bath at 7.30, followed by bottle and bed. She sleeps until 8.30 or so. If you like you can borrow my copy of the book, just drop me a pm and I'll stick it in the post.
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Do you mind me asking, what's the main concept behind it other than sticking to a strict routine?
Thanks very much for your offer by the way
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http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php
The website has a fair bit of info. It explains lots about how we sleep, how babies sleep etc, you kinda realise then what may be going on. You record naps and routines etc, and see if a pattern is emerging. She goes through loads of examples. I'll try get it out later and see can I remind myself.
The last time I referred to it was going from putting dd down asleep to putting her down awake and letting her go asleep herself. That was a gradual thing, a little bit less asleep every night, don't worry about set backs, sit by the bed while she drops of, then by the door etc. I now put her down, say good night and leave.
Dd also has a comforter which she sleeps with. Really seems to help her.
As I say, I'll find it and have a look and try get back to you later.
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Have to agree with Mrs Holly here I got the No Cry Sleep Solutions off another mm after we just totally went off track routine & sleep wise after a bad stage of teething.
The thing I like about it is that nothing is 'strict' as such, I read the baby whisperer & found myself beating myself up for everything I had done 'wrong'.
We are getting there slowly but surely with the putting herself to sleep. She's 9 months & going 8 to 7 which I am delighted with because she was in a habit of waking for at least an hour at 3 & 4am & nothing would settle her except me walking the floors with her We introduced a comforter too got that tip from another mm
She woke at 1am last night & cried out myself & dp were lying in bed holding our breath but she actually settled herself!! Took us the past month to get here though & I have probably just jinxed myself
I think you just reach a stage where enough is enough - mine was that I'm back to work next week & could barely function at home never mind anything else so had to do something
No advice re your ds this is my 1st
Hope things get better x
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deusto - if it is any consolation I could have written lots of your post there. My older guy is not so troublesome lately, but at one stage... but that moment my almost one (in about 4 hours!) year old wakes constantly, similar to what you say. I am still breastfeeding him, I gave up on night time bottles cos he went mental, absolutely refused to take it. I find it all so stressful at times, like yesterday I went to bed at 8pm after he did cos I was completely shattered from the night before, then had a row with DH at 3am this morning about him not reading that pantley book.. then he tells me he did...50 pages of it!!! about frickin newborns!! ... then I felt bad for waking him to give out to him...but he'd read the book which was good to know at the moment cos it is a hard one to sort on your own.
I think a lot of people tell you it is normal for babies to feed during the night, which it is, and it is normal for mums to be able to tend to them, which it is too, but my reality is I have a 7am bus to work in the morning and a really bad back, I'd give anything for him to just sleep through for at least six hours. And we have him in the bed with us, we have a routine like few people could match, seriously, I tick every box in the pantley book and he still wakes so I am trying the latch off method etc. As it happens my guy grabs my hand and moves it out of the way so he can get back to my boob! He is a very strong baby. The night time feeding is really getting ridiculous and I have to leave the room sometimes at 4am or whatever or I'll throw him out the window.
Anyway, no use to you at all except to say I'm with you. I have the same routine every night, 7.30 on the dot, get him off to sleep no probs but from about 10.30 Wake, 12.30 Wake, 3.00 Wake, 5.30 Wake, 6-630 Wake, wants to party.
Sure, all I can do is keep you posted. Enjoying a large glass of white wine here for now, keeps me going
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I know the feeling dd loves to wake at 4 til maybe half 5 or so she has been good this week but think she likes to lull me into a false sense of security & then babg back to waking with no reason. We have gotten a bit better after reading that book because unlike you my daytime routine had gone haywire!!
Just opening a bottle of wine here too. Enjoy!!
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I feel for you but you're not alone! There are lots of us out there and I found that I felt a bit less stressed about it once I realised I wasn't the only one with a baby who didn't like to sleep.
For me the only salvation was taking her into the bed with us after she wakes (usually around 12). I was going back to work last month and could not have coped with all the jumping up and down, particularly as she was looking to be breastfed each time. Now she tends to sleep right through after waking once and I'm at last getting some sleep. Might not suit you but seeing as she ends up in your bed anyway
What time does your DD go to bed normally? I've been strict about a bedtime routine since about six weeks (for all the good it's done us!!) - bath, feed, cuddle and bed by 7.30pm - so maybe look at doing that and putting her down a little early.
I have the No Cry book if you want to borrow (am in Dublin). Also have another sleep book on pdf that I can email you if you want (just PM me your address).
Hope you have a good night tonight x
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Hi Duesto,
God I feel your pain huns, sending lots of hugs your way.
My first daughter had colic and reflux very bad until approx 12 months as a result she was a crap sleeper and constantly screemed the house down. When she was 19 months old and we finally had her settled in a routine when DD no. 2 came along. DD2 was a happy and placid baby but no. 1 played up and went back to screaming the house down at bedtime, up to two hours to settle her but wanted to keep her quiet so she didn't wake her sister. About two months ago she settled back down and low and behold DD2 started teething and her sleeping went out the window, so like wise we took her into bed, fed on demand basically anything to keep her quiet so she didn't wake her older sister, but after a week of one or the other crying a night time waking each other, running from one room to the next (while hubby slept I might add but that's a whole seperate post or should I say bitch!!) I decided either throw myself out the window or get strong with them.
While this is not for everyone I went down the controlled crying route and genuinly after two nights they have both settled back down, the older one seemed to be happy knowing her baby sister wasn't getting in mammy and daddy's bed, and once the younger one realised that I didn't go running everytime she cried, she got the message too.
I know you are not mean't to do this but I also put two extra scoops of formula in her bottle and made her feed thicker which seemed to take the hunger off of her, or so I think anyway.
Sorry I can't offer you any advice but just be strong and remember the sleepless nights don't last forever, I promise.
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I know the feeling dd loves to wake at 4 til maybe half 5 or so she has been good this week but think she likes to lull me into a false sense of security & then babg back to waking with no reason. We have gotten a bit better after reading that book because unlike you my daytime routine had gone haywire!!
Just opening a bottle of wine here too. Enjoy!!
Yikes..I get the 5am wakenings quite frequently too. Just hoping that doesn't translate to a 4am start tomorrow!!
Cheers
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I know the feeling dd loves to wake at 4 til maybe half 5 or so she has been good this week but think she likes to lull me into a false sense of security & then babg back to waking with no reason. We have gotten a bit better after reading that book because unlike you my daytime routine had gone haywire!!
Just opening a bottle of wine here too. Enjoy!!
Yikes..I get the 5am wakenings quite frequently too. Just hoping that doesn't translate to a 4am start tomorrow!!
Cheers
Nothing worse & they are bouncing around the bed while your half asleep here's too sleep girls.... Cheers
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Hi guys thanks very much for your help. We have had two good nights with her waking up 34 times and one bad night (last night) where she was awake for a lot of it. I have now resorted to giving her calpol when she's restless and I think the reason is she is in pain, and I am also giving her a big bottle with baby rice on it once a night. The rest of the times she just gets the breast.
Firngers crossed things will get better
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